This is what happens when you ask a mathematician to find a way to fairly divide a pizza. As of a few years ago, we now also know this works for 4D pizzas as well!
The amount of topping and crust is the same for the sum of all even pieces (#2, #4, #6 and #8) as well as the odd pieces (#1, #3, #5 and #7). Thus, both persons who share their pizza get the (exact) equal amount.
Oh I fully understand the supporting math and also specifically mentioned that it's not quantity that I care about. Not to mention that the math assumes each person would eat all of their slices.
But tell me there isn't a single slice in that thumbnail that you wouldn't immediately go for over literally every other slice available.
I would take that one big slice and call it a day.