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I find myself perplexed

So, I recently discovered that 2 of the women I've been interested in have the same "preference" which is to say they like a domineering partner. One is a member of the DDLG community and the other has a partner outside of their spouse who is "in-charge" of their sex life. I suppose my question not to put anyone down or kink shame is are there signifiers that I'm missing? I typically enjoy being helpful in a relationship which trends me toward wanting a dominant partner but my stupid junk seems to only pick people in my situation. Please advise.

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