This made me tear up. It's been a really hard year and just minutes before reading this I got some pretty good news that makes me think things might actually be okay.
Sending love and hugs, stranger. I know it's hard to get through difficult times. Trust me, I know. It takes a lot of work and a lot of effort. I'm proud of you Ashyr. You got this <3
Thanks Stamets, I always appreciate seeing you around Lemmy.
Long story very short my wife was diagnosed with a serious genetic illness last year. We always knew it was a possibility, but we thought we'd escaped it only to have everything go sideways last year.
It upended our lives and changed all our life plans, but the doctors are very optimistic about her progression and we're getting on medication that should really help improve her long-term outcomes.
I get times when I fixate on the fact that eventually my parents will die and leave me alone here. I don't have the best relationship with them, but I usually feel really sad seeing them getting older day by day. I've found it helpful to ground myself when I'm with people I love - I just sit there and watch them. I look at their face and their hair and what they're doing, and listen to the intonations of their voice, and to how they move their hands when they're working and so on. It helps me fix that point in time as being real - like I EXIST along with them at this point in time, even though eventually we might not exist together, and just being here together with them now seems to bring me some relief.
I don't know why I typed this whole thing out. Maybe it will bring you some relief too.