Small instances is the best way to enjoy the fediverse. You get to sit on the sidelines, laugh at the losers that get caught in defederation drama while remaining able to access every community on every instance.
I'm not saying that you should necessarily move here, there's plenty of other instances out there. Howeeeeeever... ;)
I feel like lemm.ee is dead center, or maybe a little left of center because of explicitly prohibiting far right-wing instances. Because of the admins' policy of defederation being the last resort, lemm.ee is pretty much open to most.
I made this tool just yesterday to check that. Don't try to use it, it's currently broken because too many people used it and dried up my free use quota.
Anyway, IIRC lemm.ee hasn't been defederated by anyone. You can see who they have defederated over here. There's Meta threads, a few porn instances as well as a bunch of other lemmies I don't really know. Maybe they're spam instances, idk.
I actually quite enjoy seeing some instances push to compete and take "customers" away from other, especially larger, instances. It's almost like market forces are possible