Addressing your significant other by their actual name should be more normalized.
Addressing your significant other by their actual name should be more normalized.
Personally, I have never gotten the hype by the names “baby,” “babe,” “bae,” “honey,” it feels forced to me. I’ve seen those TikTok videos where as a joke people will address their spouses by their real names and the spouses get mad and say something like “my family and friends can call me that, but you can’t.” I’ve never gotten the seriousness of it. If we already know we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, why should I have to address you by those names? Again, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with saying them, but using real names should become more common as well.
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TikTok is not real life. Nobody I know doesn’t use real names when addressing their spouse. I’ve literally never even met someone who would act the way you’re describing.
We've been married 15 years. If we use a first name to address each other it usually means we are out in public and trying to find one another. And that is only because if I shout 'QD(cutie)' 5 women will turn around thinking it is their SO so it isn't super useful.
If you bugged our house you would think my wife's name is Dear, QD, Darling, Beautiful, or "HOLY SHIT CHECK THIS OUT". There is almost no chance you'd catch either of our real names on that tape.
Wife did that at our wedding, shouted, "POGIE!" at the group of guys I was standing with and we all looked at the same time.
(Guys were all Americans, girls all Filipinos. "Pogie" = "hottie" in Tagalog.)
i know a lot of people who use babe and honey in real life.
you've never met anyone in your life who uses pet names for their SO?
Never using real names ≠ not using pet names.
I also have never met a couple that never calls each other by their given name. That doesn't mean those same people never use pet names.
"Never using real names ≠ not using pet names."
nobody said they were.
"That doesn't mean those same people never use pet names."
Cool, nobody's making that argument except you.
Except the original post did? You aren't right here.
The OP doesn't like how terms of endearments sound, thinks they sound forced.
A subsequent commenter is misrepresenting the OP by arguing
"Never using real names ≠ not using pet names"
which nobody is asserting.
and complaining
"I also have never met a couple that never calls each other by their given name."
which nobody has said,
and
"That doesn't mean those same people never use pet names."
which again, nobody is saying except for that commenter.
they're propping up straw men using absolutes to argue against because they don't have any relevant answers for the OP or contributions to the thread.
In your first comment, in this thread, you asked "you've never met anyone in your life who uses pet names for their SO?"
I (and I believe the other people responding to you) don't think that's a reasonable interpretation of the comment you were responding to.
The top comment (with the double negative removed for clarity) said that Every couple that commenter knows in real life does use each others' legal names. This does not suggest that those couples do not also use pet names, but your question implies that you think it does. This implication is what other commenters are responding to.
you got turned around.
my comment
"you've never met anyone in your life who uses pet names for their SO?"
is a direct response to
the absurd assertion that
"Nobody I know doesn’t use real names when addressing their spouse."
you:
"This does not suggest that those couples do not also use pet names"
No suggestion, they directly claim that nobody they know doesn't use real names.
They claim not to know anyone who uses anything other than their real names with their spouse.
Buy that if you want to.
You are definitely misreading what they said. The meaning you attribute doesn't make any sense in the context of the post and the remainder of their comment.
"Nobody I know doesn't eat onions." is equivalent to "Everybody I know does eat onions." but not to "Everybody I know eats nothing except onions."
Lol, ok buddy. Have a great day. 👍
lol ok sport.
That was not what I said. Reread what I said. Your entire argument in this comment section is based off of a complete misreading of my comment.
Nah, it's been litigated.
You can start again if you'd like.
no clue what you're on about.
checks out.
no worries.
One of my friends does it. It is a real thing.
they didn't write or claim the vague and pointless response
"everybody uses their real names".
they specifically claimed two things:
"Nobody I know doesn’t use real names when addressing their spouse."
then they double down with
"I’ve literally never even met someone who would act the way you’re describing."
"literally never".
TikTok was an example. But those are real couples. I don’t know where you’re from but using real names is definitely not as common
Sounds like they are joking. The situations are obviously engineered and not reality when using a camera to record stuff for reactions and engagement.
using pet names, titles, or other things like that are useful in media when you want to convey the relationship.
Like when a movie has a man greet a woman. If he just said 'hi jill' you wouldn't know who she is to him. If he says 'hey babe' you assume they're in a relationship.
So idk what is actually more common in real situations but it's easy to assume people only use pet names when you're not going to see anyone's actual one on one conversations
I don't get the agenda the other comments are trying to push by pretending people don't use terms of endearment, but don't worry, you're definitely in the right here.
"terms of endearment" or "pet names" are common phrases because of the commonality of pet names, especially in romantic relationships.
Re-read the comments. No one argued that nobody uses terms of endearment. The argument is that using given names doesn't need to be normalized because it's already an extremely normal thing...and that the abnormal behavior would be someone actually getting upset that their SO called them by their given name.
I'm responding to your misunderstanding and mischaracterization of the OP and your straw men "nevers", not other comments that agree with what I'm saying.
I’m guessing you thought you were responding to me, but you weren’t. I never said that people didn’t use terms of endearment. I said I have “never” seen anyone act in the manner OP described as in I’ve never seen someone get mad at their SO for using their real name.
"I’m guessing you thought you were responding to me"
nope.
"I said[meant] I have “never” seen anyone act in the manner OP described as in I’ve never seen someone get mad at their SO for using their real name. "
great.