Hi all, when I created this community I was not aware that something very similar already exists. Since the other community is already way bigger I will close this one and suggest everyone to move over:

[email protected]

https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates

This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).

I am NOT OP, this is a repost

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/tcr5gy/i_want_to_adopt_my_sister_after_my_dads_

I[28M] have been married to my wife [28f] for 2 years. we do not have kids and we do not plan to. I have a little sister [11f]. Due to the age gap , I am more like another father than a brother.

My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or my uncle [dad's brother] . So we asked her who she wanted and she chose me. Here is the problem, my wife and I decided that we did not want kids, So she does not want to adopt my sister especially since my uncle can. But my sister has no parents now and I want to make sure she is able to recover and be healthy and since she wants to be with me, I will not force her to be with our uncle. This is causing a lot of tension with my wife , things escalated and finally told her I am doing this whether she agrees or not, she can either accept it or we get divorced. We have not talked since then. What I can do in such situation?

Tl;dr dad died. I will adopt my sister. My wife does not want that. Tension is rising with my wife.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/tjjrf5/updatei28m_want_to_adopt_my_sister_after_my_dads/

I talked with my wife again. She still refused as she does not want kids. So we basically decided to go our separate ways. She said you really are choosing your sister over me. I told her I do not want to go into this discussion again but if that what you want to hear then fine. Yes my sister takes the priority now, I am choosing her over you. This was our last conversation. I have been living with my sister for 1 week now. Being a single father-ish brother is definitely challenging but I am really enjoying it.

Tl;dr I got separated from my wife. I am taking care of my sister.

Disclaimer

This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.

Read the original here

This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).

I am NOT OP. Original post from r/TwoXChromosomes by u/TipsyRussell

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Trigger Warnings: past and potential child sexual abuse, statutory rape, sex trafficking of a minor

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Matt Gaetz will be speaking at a high school near me next week. Below is the email that I sent the superintendent. All I have are my vote and my voice, it's past time I start utilizing both.

OOP (Aug 10), update 1 (Aug 11), update 2 (Aug 13)

E: I don't think this is yet concluded, and this post isn't really that active anymore, but I'll add the 3rd update in anyway: update 3 (Aug 16)

Good evening,

I would like to voice my concern about the upcoming "Academy Night" at Niceville High School. As I understand it, this is an informational meeting where students interested in the service academies can meet with Matt Gaetz. I understand that in order to apply for service academies, students need a nomination from their representative, senator, or the vice president. The students NEED his endorsement, and there is nothing that your office can do about that, which again, I fully understand.

Matt Gaetz is under federal investigation for having sex with a 17 year old girl (the news keeps calling this sex with a minor. In Florida, the age of consent is 18, so this isn't just "sex with a minor". That's rape.) and paying for her to travel across state lines, violating sex-trafficking laws.

It is absolutely vile that the school system would invite someone currently under investigation for rape and sex-trafficking into the school to speak to 17 year old girls and put them in a position where they have to ask him for a favor. This investigation has been ongoing for a long time, so the county has had plenty of time to come up with an alternative to allowing him to speak at the school. Any information he needs to give out can easily be done via email, or even a Zoom call with interested students and their parents.

It seems to me that the school system should not allow someone under investigation for sex with minors anywhere near a school, if for no other reason than out of an abundance of caution. Instead, however, you are quite literally giving him access to potential new victims, and directing them to ask him for something. I would think that the safety of students would be a top priority for Okaloosa County, but this decision leads me to believe otherwise. If a teacher is under federal investigation for sex with a student, does that teacher stay in the classroom teaching while the investigation is ongoing? I’m fairly certain I know the answer.

Thank you for taking these concerns into consideration.

Update 1:

Update - I sent the email to the superintendent and the school board. The only response I’ve gotten is from one school board member. All she said was that she’d follow up. Several people have been sending emails, and other people have been getting responses. This is what one woman posted about it on Facebook: The superintendent called me after he received my email. He said that Gaetz does this event every year. It looks like it will continue to be held at Niceville High, with Gaetz as the presenter. Chambers told me that he spoke with Gaetz and was reassured that no agenda would be pushed, and there would be no speech, he would simply be handing out the assignments to students.”

Again, this is not a response that I personally got, just one that I heard about.

This is not an acceptable response. Gaetz speaking to the students individually is worse than him giving a speech. At least with a speech, everyone can hear what is being said. Instead, he'll be interacting with the students one on one. Also, just because Gaetz has always done the event doesn’t mean that it can’t and shouldn’t be changed. I’ll be sending a follow-up email tonight. I'm going to suggest that if the superintendent refuses to cancel, at the least, he can require parents' attendance.

I encourage anyone that feels compelled to send an email as well to do so. I’m not going to post contact info, but it’s easily accessible on the Okaloosa County School District site.

Finally, I'd like to thank everybody for the amazing comments and messages and awards. I was so nervous to post that, and everybody was just so encouraging, so thank you again, so so so much. It has done a lot to encourage me to keep going.

Update 2:

I wrote a follow-up email this morning and sent it to the superintendent and copied the school board. I included a link the first post, and let them know that it had gotten almost 3 million views, and the overwhelming majority of the comments agreed with me. I suggested that they take a look at some of your comments and realize that this is a serious issue. Then I asked what the county’s protocol is if a teacher is under investigation for having sex with a student – is that teacher allowed to remain in the classroom? I also asked at what point does the school/county become liable if Gaetz meets his next “girlfriend” at an event like this, and the county did nothing to prevent it? I mentioned that I had not heard from anyone, but that I was aware that Mr. Chambers (the superintendent) had been responding to others, and that the gist of his response seems to be shrugging the whole thing off. I ended with “I don't have a child in the school system, but I am a taxpayer and a voter. I've been in contact with a reporter from Newsweek, and I have no intention of dropping this.”

A few hours later, I got a call from the superintendent. I’m not gonna lie, this is so far out of my wheelhouse. I was so nervous. I knew I would be posting an update, so I wanted to record the conversation just to make sure I accurately quoted him. I asked if I could record the call, and he said he’d rather not, that he just wanted to have a conversation. I assume it was for the same reason that he’s responding to emails with phone calls in the first place – to not have a record of what he has said. He gave me the same spiel he’s giving everybody else. It’s not his event, he’ll be there, most of the parents will be in attendance, blah blah blah. I let him know that it’s at a school, so ultimately it IS his event. He did agree with that. He started by saying that it’s an investigation and there were no charges or arrests. I asked if they would wait for charges to be filed and an arrest to be made if it were a teacher. Would that teacher still be in the classroom? He said no, they would be put on administrative leave. I asked what the difference was and he paused and said “you would win that argument” but didn’t go any further. I wish I would have pushed him more on that.

He did try to tell me that that he wasn't going to be pushing a political agenda. I shut that down and said that that was not the issue. The issue is putting teenagers in front of a known predator.

I asked about what the school’s liability would be if it turned out Gaetz was guilty and he had been using these events to meet high school girls. He said he didn’t think that would happen, which leads me to believe he doesn’t believe the allegations. When we had discussed the process for what happens when a teacher is suspected of having sex with a student, he had said the sheriff’s office would conduct an investigation. I reminded him that it’s not the school or the county or the sheriff’s office that’s investigating Matt Gaetz, that it’s the federal government, and that it's real and it’s serious. I also pointed out that Gaetz’s cohort has already pled guilty and is awaiting sentencing, which has been delayed because he’s fully cooperating in the investigation into Gaetz

He said that the event was an important opportunity for the students. I agreed, and said that getting the chance to get facetime with their congressman is a huge opportunity for students, but that their safety was more important. I suggested that if he wouldn’t cancel, then the least he could do would be to require parents’ attendance. He said that wasn’t something he considered. I’m sure he’s still not considering it, but at least it is hopefully planting ideas in his head that this is ultimately his responsibility, and there ARE options. I also suggested permission slips or waivers. At least make them acknowledge that he’s a creep (allegedly).

The superintendent said that he IS getting a bunch of calls and emails, including a call from the New York Times, so that’s exciting. Hopefully if we just keep it up, they school district will come to their senses. As one commenter said “god, the bar is just so low”. We’re not asking for much, just that you don’t serve up teenage girls to an accused pedophile on a platter.

Anyway, I will say I’m proud of myself for standing my ground and not letting the superintendent shirk responsibility. He kept saying it wasn’t the school’s event, so I kept pointing out that it didn’t matter whose event it was, it’s happening at the school, and he is in charge of the schools. I was relatively articulate and stood my ground, so that felt good.

At this point, I’m in too deep to just drop it. I think I actually told him that too, now that I think about it. So I’m trying to get this all out there as much as I can. All but one of the board members are up for re-election on August 23rd. I haven’t heard from any of them except for one email from one of them that she would follow up, and then nothing. So I sent my post to all their opponents in the election and told them that it might be a good opportunity to blast the incumbent for inaction. I feel like there’s definitely traction, and a tiny possibility that MAYBE we can get something changed.

This has been a really weird couple of days. It’s been incredibly nerve-wracking, but also, it feels incredible! I highly recommend everybody tries getting involved. Everybody’s comments and messages have really been so encouraging so thank you all for that.

The superintendent is getting your calls and emails, so please keep it up, ESPECIALLY if there is anybody in here that lives in Okaloosa County! Academy Night is scheduled for Tuesday, so we have until then to get it canceled. Thanks Reddit!

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Update 3:

This one will be brief - the event is still scheduled and Gaetz is still attending. Thanks to you guys though, we are getting national attention! Newsweek published this article this morning, and I believe Vanity Fair should be publishing one shortly as well (I'll update the post with that link when it comes out). Thank you so so much to everyone that has participated in this discussion and for all of the many encouraging and helpful messages I have received from all over. I haven't gotten a chance to reply to all of them, but I truly appreciate them. Covid finally caught a hold of me, and I've been laid up since the weekend, but I've read them all.

I keep telling myself that even if this event doesn't get cancelled, this post and the public outcry has brought some much-needed attention to the issue, and hopefully people that were all-in on voting for Gaetz are reconsidering their position.

On a personal note, if you have thought about getting more involved and haven't because you don't feel like it will do any good - do it! It'll feel great!

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Edit to add Top comment from OOP to help clear something up:

This is fantastic and very well written. Also, as a grad of a federal service academy, I never actually met with any of the Congress people to whom I applied for my service academy nomination. It is not at all necessary for them to meet him in person. Just validating your premise here.

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Reminder - I am not the original poster

E: I appreciate the awards, but please, if you're going to spend some money today, consider looking up an organisation and/or shelter that supports survivors of sex trafficking near you, or if you want to keep it more local to the post, I looked up a couple in Florida: Kristi house and Naples shelter (I did check both on Charity Navigator and they scored high, but I've had a comment saying the second has mistreated both staff and clients, so maybe not them).

Edit again: just to point out there is a comment near/at the top here that contains the relevant contact information for those involved if anyone is interested, and also this comment from OOP with link to a tweet by Matt Gaetz saying he and Marcus Chambers are friends.

Edit once more to add this link to a post the superintendent made on FB, if you're on FB and can go comment asking about this whole Gaetz situation, please do!

Disclaimer

This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.

Read the original here

I am not OP!

ORIGINAL by u/fullyfaithfulwife

I don't know how it happened and I haven't been able to stop crying all day. I never cheated. I love my husband, we've been together since college and he's the love of my life, he's handsome and kind and while I've slept with two other people, both were before we got together. There is no other potential father for our daughter. We were married already and actively trying for a baby. I never cheated, I never would cheat, and I don't know why he took that stupid test because I would never, ever cheat, but it came back negative and now he thinks he's not her dad. I don't know how to convince him it was a faulty test and I'm so scared.

These past few months it's like he's become someone completely different from the man I married. He's cold, and suspicious. He kept demanding to see my phone, and wouldn't tell me why, and I showed him at first but eventually told him I wouldn't anymore unless he explained why. He's been distant with our daughter too. He stays in his office for hours on end, and I don't know what he's doing. I did not cheat. He accused me this morning, saying he'd done the test after realizing that our daughter's eyes (brown) wouldn't naturally come from ours (both blue) and that he wanted me to get out of the house. I didn't leave and he locked me out of our bedroom and now I'm in my daughter's room. This is terrifying.

What should I do?

Edit: The specific advice I want is how I can prove I'm innocent and how to make sure this relationship works. I want to keep my family together at all costs.

Also, I just had a conversation with my husband. He's out of his room now, and we discussed some things. I told him again that I would never cheat and started talking about a list I made of tests I want done, but he told me that he didn't want to hear it right now. We're going to have a longer conversation tomorrow and he said that he still loves our daughter, and he won't try to keep me out of the house or our room for now. I asked him to hug me and he did. I'm scared that I won't be able to convince him. I just want our family to go back to normal. How can I be a good wife and support his needs while proving my innocence?

TL;DR: My husband confronted me this morning saying our daughter isn't biologically his after a failed paternity test, but I never cheated.

UPDATE

Hi everyone. First off, I wanted to thank everyone who reached out, my original post got so much attention, it was hard to get to everything, but I ended up making a list of plans, and tests I wanted to get done. My husband was (understandably) distrustful of me for a while, but he apologized for the way he acted (which I didn't need) and said that he wouldn't try to kick me out of our home. He did say, though, that if every test came back and I'd cheated, then he was going to "go scorched earth."

We did a few tests. Blood paternity tests for him and me, and our daughter, and we had an appointment with a chimerism specialist coming up, but that got canceled because, well, some of you guessed it, but my daughter is not biologically mine either. I don't know how this happened, but a police officer came to our house and took our statements, and we're suing the hospital where I gave birth. I don't know what happened to my baby, and that is terrifying. I have my husband back, but my whole world was still upended, and I just wish he'd never taken that stupid test. I've been sleeping in my daughter's room, and I'm so afraid that she's going to be taken away from me, but at the same time I want to know where my biological daughter is, and if she's okay. I pray to god she's okay.

My daughter still doesn't know the details, and we've been trying to keep this quiet. The last thing we need is a big scandal. I don't want people who know us to look at her differently. She deserves better than that, she's such a good kid, and she's not some spectacle to be gawked at. If we can find her birth family, I have no idea what we'll do. I guess the best case scenario would be to get a bigger house and all live together, but I don't know if we can afford that, or if they'd go for that, or even if we'll be able to locate them, or if I'm just crazy. This whole situation is crazy. I don't know anyone else who's been in a situation like this. I mean, are there support groups for parents of kids who got mixed up? I googled and nothing came up. Literally all I'm getting are tabloid articles from trashy magazines that slap the faces of innocent kids on the same pages as celebrity sex scandals, and fiction. How do we tell our daughter? I mean we can't tell her now, she'll tell the kids at school and then it'll be everywhere, but we have to say something.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve this.

TL;DR: My daughter is not biologically mine, or my husband's.

OOP is also asking LegalAdvice for help.

OOP's Husband's Perspective on Everything:

Hello, everyone. So, apparently a youtuber my husband watches called Mark Narrations decided that it would be a fun idea to read my post on his channel. My husband recognized the story, because, well of course he recognized the story, how could he not? This doesn't happen every day. Then he went on my account page. Then he found quite a few comments about him that were not exactly... nice. And now, he has asked me for a chance to post his side of the story on this account, so that people stop trashing him. Please be nice.

So, I don't know how many of you have been down a self doubt rabbithole before, but it's not the most logical place to be. It's even less logical when you have the whole damn internet telling you that your wife is cheating, and that she's planning to take the house, and take you for all you're worth, and never really loved you, and you always sorta thought she was too good for you anyway, so you end up seeing everything as a sign of infidelity, and then you get not one, but two failed paternity tests on your daughter. When Covid happened, I got fat. I got depressed. I stopped feeling like a person. My wife stayed beautiful. She stayed herself. I was sure that she'd made a mistake. That she'd regret being with me. I started getting into some online groups, especially on reddit, that were full of guys who'd been cheated on, lost custody, lost everything, and when someone said that his tipoff was that he and his wife both had blue eyes and their son had brown, I felt fucking stupid. I did not want to jump to conclusions, but when I made a post about my fears, everyone said that she was cheating. People said not to say anything, because she'd use it to hide her cheating and get ahead of me on the divorce. I got the test and I didn't really think it'd come back negative. Then it did. I didn't want to believe it, but yeah, I pulled back. I felt betrayed. I wanted to be a good husband but I couldn't shake this. I tried to find evidence of an affair, and failed. I got another test. When that one was also negative, I snapped. If you've ever been cheated on, you know what it feels like. When my wife denied it, I got angrier. I just wanted her to leave. I didn't want to go through what everyone seemed to think was going to happen. I didn't want to lose custody of my kid. I didn't want to lose my house. I was scared, and angry, and I wanted the truth. I felt like if she couldn't even be honest there was no getting past this. I took a few hours to calm down. When she came back with a list of tests to take, I tried to keep my cool. I tried to keep my cool for so long. I know I was wrong about the affair, but so was everyone else in my ear. My kid is genuinely not biologically mine. I didn't immediately consider that switched at birth was an option. I've been through a messed up time, and I don't think getting angry one time because I thought my wife cheated and was lying about it makes me a monster.

Hi, it's Fullyfaithfulwife here again! I just want to say that 1. I agree that he's not a monster, an abuser, or anything of the sort. 2. I do not agree that he's fat. I love this man very much and have for ages, and we are not going to let this situation break our marriage. Thank you to everyone for all your help.

Tl;dr:

A woman's husband confronts her after a paternity test claims he's not the biological father of their daughter, even though she insists she never cheated. In a shocking turn, further testing reveals neither of them are the biological parents of their daughter, leading them to sue the hospital where the birth took place, suspecting a mix-up. Amidst the turmoil, they try to maintain normalcy for their daughter, protect her from the public eye, and grapple with the mystery of their biological child's whereabouts, while addressing the strains and suspicions this has caused in their marriage.

I am not OP! This is a repost from reddit

Reminder: I am not OP

Original by u/macbookcouch

I had some of my friends over at my house and one of my friends invited one of her other friends to come over. She had her MacBook on my couch when I sat on it and broke it. Since it was completely my fault I offered to pay her the money for it and she agreed. She got it 3 years ago and it cost 2200 dollars at the time. I told her I'd wire you the money in a week to her bank account.

She's now emailed me saying that as per our conversation she's expecting the 2700 that I have agreed for!!!! I didn't know why she added the extra money so I got her number from my friend and called her to find her telling me she's now expecting me to pay for her new upgraded MacBook since she was "upgrading anyway". She said if I don't agree to do that she'll be suing me in small claims court. Can a judge agree to that?

Should I wire her the $2,200 or should I just tell her go sue me?

Update:

I went through every single comment from the 200+ ones and I sincerely thank each and every one of you.

I did some research specifically for repairing the screen for the macbook and for her particular model it’s around 310 for the screen + the labor cost so I wrote her back saying that since she didn't accept my initial offer of $2200, I’m withdrawing that offer, and offering to pay for the repair cost. She sent me an email calling me a bitch and that she’s going to take me to court.

I got served a few days later and went to court. I told the judge I gave her three options to choose from. 1) either to write her a check for a brand new one which was 2200 dollars. 2) Get her a refurbished one from apple or a third party or even used which would be around 1400 dollars or 3) fix her current MacBook since the screen is the only thing affected here and it would cost around 300 dollars plus money for labor. (I printed out the email I sent her and the mail she sent back refusing demanding the 2700 and calling me a bitch and saying we’ll go to court + screenshots for the price quotes from different websites for a new/refurbished and the screen fix for her particular model) and gave it to the judge. I also told him that when I offered at the very beginning to get her a new one from the apple store she said no I want the money in cash. When I told her I’d give her 2200 for a new one she said okay but later came asking for 2700 because she wants to upgrade. I tried to show him how it's clearly visible that she's trying to take advantage of me.

She gave the judge an attitude almost the whole time which really pissed the judge off and helped my case I guess. After listening to both of us he ruled that I pay 50% of the repair cost since she negligently left her laptop on the couch. So I'll only be paying not more than 200-250 dollars for the whole thing.

If it weren’t for you guys I would’ve paid $2,200 dollars instead of around $200 and I honestly loved her look at the end as we walked out.

This is a repost, see the original on reddit.